söndag 4 november 2007

I've had it

Why do I even bother?
My negativity and pessimism about life make people not want to be around me.
I'm digging myself a hole deeper than I'll ever climb out of..
But why would I not? What is there to give me some hope about the coming days?
I might as well flee to Africa. Start anew, and ridden the people that I know of me.
I'm realizing why my situation is the way it is..

I want to be that person who brightens the days of people. But I'm not.
I want to be that person that people share their thoughts with. But I'm not.
I'm just good for asking about school stuff, that I mostly don't even know.

Why am I? And when will I realize for real that the game is lost. It's impossible to go on from here. When nothing is postitive, how can one generate positivity?

I'll stay an unlikable person. A negative person. And I'll most likely die alone.

2 kommentarer:

Anonym sa...

You have no idea how much everyone in Melodia loved you. Seriously. Cynthia and I were talking about you recently- how easy you are to be around, how wonderful your energy is, how we dug your exuberance and radiance and just how much light and sweetness you added to our choir. You really graced us all though we knew you only a short time. You are a gem! It breaks my heart to think that someone like you could feel so poorly about herself.

I think the most exceptional people suffer the most- the people with the most depth, intelligence and sensitivity. Please don't be so hard on yourself. This too, shall pass.

I am having a similar day. If you ever need to email/facebook message a friend abroad who truly understands many kinds of sadness, don't ever hesitate.

warmly,

Annette (I found your blog on facebook :))

Jen sa...

You know, Sweetie, that you have an international fan club. You do. And you will never, never be truly alone.

Life right now is very, very hard.

I'm always here if you want to talk.

Tons of love to you.