What I need

So, for those of you who happened to read my last post, you've probably realized that I'm not going through such an easy time in my life right now. Nothing seems to work out the way I want it to work out. And the reason why this makes such a huge impact on my life is that I have needs.

All people have needs. As you're all familiar with, we do need to eat a sufficient amount of food every day to meet the requirements of our metabolism, to maintain homeostasis and to feel well. We also need to drink water, we need to move for real for 30 minutes a day and we should take on average 10.000 steps every day to keep our joints lubricated, our muscles functional and our body fat percentage within reasonable limits. That's what we need for our bodies to be able to do what we need them to do.

Recently I've thought a lot about my other needs. My individual needs. The needs that make me the little person I am. Many of them I've figured out while living abroad or being off on my own. And here are my conclusions.

I need control Mostly of the future. To live in the now as we say here in Sweden, is just not my thing if I'm not granted that I know what's going on a month "from the now".

I need intellectual stimulance This is something I've figured out while being off doing other things. If I'm not allowed to use my brain, I'm not happy. And if I find out my brain isn't great enough, I hate myself.

I need to feel that what I'm doing is good for something In a way that's why I can't be happy right now. I love my school and my class, but it's not getting me anywhere and that gives me a huge deal an insecurity. That's also why I'm aspiring to be a doctor one day. My job would make a difference, and I'd know WHY I went in to work every morning.

I need love And I need it not to be far away in a distant town.

I need to live close to family Doesn't mean I need to see them all the time, no thanks, but I need to know they're there and that I can go see them when I want to.

I need to learn If I stop learning by the time I've finished school, why would I live?! If you can't get better at anything, what's the motivation to survive?

I, chilishly, need affirmation I estimate my own value in my acheivments. And so, if I'm not acheiving, I'm worthless. But I also need to feel that other people appreciate me. Cause if they don't, what am I doing here?

Well, I know many of these things will have to go to make me happy. But isn't the first step towards solving a problem to recognize that the problem is, in fact, a problem?