Priorities

Lately I feel like my life, more than ever, is labled with the line "You have to prioritate". Studying is prioritating what chapters I'm should read since you can't read them all, dancing is prioritating getting healthy or getting better technique, singing is doing that or practiacally nothing ekse.

It's a pity because I'm notoriously bad at doing just that. Making priorities that is. And whatever decision I come up with in the end is always the wrong one. On the other hand, had I made the other one, that would probably have ended up feeling just as bad. Choosing one thing over another is one thing, but neglecting one thing to be able to do another, is a different ball game.

The month of December is always a stressful one for everybody. Holiday planning, holiday shopping, holiday socializing, holiday eating, holiday feeling like one has to work off the extra pounds, end-of-school-year-studying etc.

For me it's also about getting to spend a couple of days with the man in my life who currently lives very far away, and without whom I can't function properly, trying to make enough money to afford buying people presents and to support myself for next year, giving concerts in excess because my new choir is crazy busy during Christmas time and performing in various dance recitals. Well, this year it'll only be one, but of course on the same day as I'm scheduled to have two concerts. Needless to say, I need to prioritate, because I'm only one person, and I can not be in 4 places at the same time. Although I've tried a couple of times, but it hurt pretty badly.

The problem is, all these thing are too important to me for these decisions to be easily made. I don't put one over the other, well, yes my bf is way on top of everything, but the others are tied in second place. I've made commitments to my boss, to my conductor and to my dance teacher in the beginning of the fall. And those promises requires me to be there when I'm scheduled to. To do my best, to be awake, be positive, know my steps, know my music, know the new prices on the breads and most of all be full of energy 24/7. But doing this only works as long as these things stick to their normal schedule and don't start to mess with me. Because when 1 choir practise a week becomes 7 concerts with the extra rehearsal time added - my planning falls through, and I'm pretty much a dead 21-year-old with hair too long because I haven't got the time to have it cut.

So, now, I've just realized that, since I can't just quit one anymore, I have to cut my time in even pieces, and give all of my duties a fair share. Yes, I will let people down in the process which I truly hate, because giving a 90% isn't quite my thing. But to be able to survive the month of december, this is a must. I've come to terms with not being able to give 110% to everything at all times. I have to cut myself some slack sometimes. That does, however, encompass giving 150% when I'm at the place I've made a priority that day.

So, here now I present to you my, modified schedule for december (Notice how there are a lot of days where I only have ONE thing scheduled - IMPROVEMENT!!).

1 work 9-18.30
2 concerts all day
3 cramming for final exam
4 cramming for final exam and dance
5 cramming for final exam choir rehearals and concert
6 cramming for final exam
7 final exam, dance times 2 (potentially 1 concert)
8 concert from 12 pm
9-12 go to see bf
13 (Lucia) concerts from 6am and on
14 dance and concert
15 concert
16 dance recital and concert
17-23 work 8 hr days

...and then it's Christmas...