reflecting

Today the sky is gray. That means there's absolutely nothing to do here, and I feel like I'm wasting precious free time by wandering about, worrying about what'll happen in three weeks. It also makes me philosophical, contemplative, and very prone to missing stuff. It's like the gray clouds makes me privy to all the stuff that are miles and miles away from me.
Missing is such a peculiar feeling. For people who haven't really missed something or somebody, it's incomprehensible, indescribable. Missing somebody that's gone for a month or a week, like the situation with me and my boyfriend, is one thing. Missing something without knowing when you'll get to see it again, is a different story.
To survive missing something like that, you need to push it aside. You have to tell yourself that it exists, but for another time. You need to focus on what you have and how to make the best out of it. How can you gain the most from this "missing mission"? How can it help you grow? In other words you need to find a meaning. You need to learn coping skills, like with all things that makes life, life. You need to try to see the positive sides, like how much easier it is to write somebody about your problems than to tell somebody face to face. How happy you get when you do get an answer to that e-mail. Suffice it to say, you just need to live with it.
But sometimes that missing feeling just takes over hand. That's when you have to tie yourself to the bedpost, so you don't do anything rash, like spend all your money on an airplane ticket to the duece for example. I wonder how many times I've been about to do just that.
So that makes me think about all the people missing things they'll never ever get to see again. I'm so happy that all the people and things I miss are still there, still standing. Not blown away by war or decisions made by somebody much more poweful than us earth-bound humans. At least I get to have the people I miss within reach. And they are in my life, able to help me get through tough times, all in their own, separate ways.That's invaluable.